My Fears

My biggest fear is that somehow I'll be one of the few that gastric bypass will fail for. That I will either 1. Gain all the weight back or 2. That somehow my weight loss will stall and I won't lose any more weight.

This is compounded by the fact that I am now able to eat more than when I first had surgery. Not a lot more. For example, tonight I had 1 piece of beef jerky and cheese for dinner (90 calories for both) for breakfast (only in the sense that it was my first meal), 7 small shrimp with cocktail sauce and 1 oz of green beans for dinner and then I had 1/2 of a high protein shake. That's all I ate, but it's more than I was able to eat before. The shake is 120 calories for a whole one, so for everything I ate today, I probably had no more than 500 calories, which isn't much, but it's more than the 150 calories I was eating when I first had the surgery. It freaks me out. The doctor said to limit calories to no more than 500 per day, but I really worry that is too much.

I find myself obsessing about it each time I eat, worrying that if I eat this, it will stop me from losing weight. I know it's completely unrealistic, but it stresses me out.

Also, I'm struggling with the clothing situation, my jeans are WAY too big, but I can't find a pair of jeans that fit me and look decent. Sigh, I'm in this really awkward in between sizes phaze!

I also am looking for a gym. I have got to start working out again. My gym membership just expired and I hated anytime fitness, they offer zero classes and I want a gym with classes that is open 24 hours a day...and that is near my house. I don't think such a place exists, so I'm trying to decide which one would be the best.