I've stayed away a long time. I have had people use this blog as a way to "keep track of me." People that I would prefer not to have in my life. I guess that's what happens when you collect ex husbands.
Chad and I celebrated our second anniversary last week. What a lucky girl I am! Many people have asked us if we would have more children together. Instead of reliving painful fertility issues with each and every person that asks the question, I have simply answered the question with a myriad of responses including, "Don't you think 4 kids is enough?" or "I have a six year old and 3 eight year olds." Neither of these answered the question. But generally people ask this question to make conversation, not because they are actually interested in the details. It's like when someone asks "Hey, How are you doing?" They don't want to hear "It's been an awful day...." They are expecting the response "good."
When people ask the question "Will you have kids?" They want a yes or no answer.
There were so many factors. I fear getting fat. I have lost over 200 pounds. Yeah, I have no desire to be fat again. I have had a tummy tuck to remove excess skin. A baby will ruin my cute flat stomach.
It took a huge amount of fertility treatments for me to get pregnant with both Logan and Jonah. It took 3 years to get pregnant with Logan. Two years with Jonah. It was very trying. At one point, I took 8 Clomid at once in addition to Glucophage in an attempt to get pregnant. I am at the point in my life, that I don't take medications unless absolutely necessary. Clomid has a huge risk of ovarian cancer associated with it and Chad and I decided that the risk was not worth it to us. He said he'd rather not have a baby and still have a wife.
With that in mind, In September, we decided to try and get pregnant. I have gotten the Depo Provera shot for 2 years. I have heard that Depo can stop pregnancy for at least as long as you were on it. My time frame was 35. If I wasn't pregnant by 35, I was done. I was going to have a hysterectomy and call it good. The risk of complications are just too high older. I am fairly high risk anyways. I turn 35 in June.
My cycle didn't start until late November, and here I am in January, 7 weeks pregnant.
I am thrilled, excited, nervous (very nervous) and still worried about how this will affect my body.
I have been a bit of a slacker since I started school a year and a half ago. My 5 days a week work out routines have turned to 3 days a week....if I'm lucky. My rigid healthy eating habits have bended a little and I allow us to eat the occasional pizza or treat. I have gained 10 pounds. My tummy tuck was very difficult to recover from and I have still not built all of my muscle mass back. This year, I have new incentive to get super in shape. It can only help my pregnancy and delivery. My diet is back on track. Nothing processed, nothing in without nutritional benefit for my mini monkey.
I am taking adolescent nutrition this semester in school which is very fitting. My teacher is a Registered Dietician and I am meeting with her this week to get a diet plan set up. I plan to continue exercising.
I read this article this week and it helped to ease my fears. I am having a baby. My cute belly may not survive. That's ok.
http://weseekjoy.blogspot.com/2013/12/babies-ruin-bodies.html
I will eat healthy, workout and do my best. It's all I can do.
