Judge Not!

Sometimes I feel like others judge me still as if I still was very, very fat.

My short comings as a very large person were obvious. My house was a nightmare. Some days I could have been featured on hoarders. Not because I held on to stuff too long, but because I was too dang tired to keep it clean.

I tried. I have a little OCD. Mess drives me crazy. I was too physically exhausted to do any better. I was doing my absolute best.

I wasn't the best mom, I wasn't the best wife. But I did all that I physically could under the circumstances.

I was working two jobs and at the end of the day, that was all that I physically could do.

I do struggle with body image and I see myself as much bigger, but I think others sometimes see me as the Uber-fat Lauralee.

There are many things that have changed for me over the past year. I am the mommy that I want to be. I play with my kids. We laugh and joke and romp and play. My house is clean. I mean really, really clean. my cupboards and closets are clean. The kids clothes are ironed. At the end of the day, I'm not exhausted. I love my life, my husband, my kids and my job.

But, those who knew me before, still often treat me like the super fat girl I once was. Don't get me wrong, I am super. Just not fat.

To those who have judged me, or any other fat people, I have lost 180 pounds. If you can put 25 pound leg weights on each of your ankles, 10 pounds on each of your wrists and a 120 pound backpack on your back and do all of the tasks that you do in a day, good for you. I couldn't.

I am so thankful every day that I had gastric bypass. It has completely changed my life.

There are the little things a person takes for granted. I fit into a chair at a movie theater. I can fit in an airplane seat or bathroom stall. Seat belts in all cars fit me. Those are small.

It used to take me an entire day to clean my house. It takes me 1 1/2 hours. That's kitchen and bathrooms scrubbed, floors vacuumed, dusted, everything. What has really given me the happy life I love is being able to play with my kids and clean my house. That's what I am thankful for.