Watch "Anti- Denetite" on YouTube
One of my favorite episodes of Seinfeld is where Jerry's dentist joins the jewish religion for the jokes. (If you have never seen it, watch the highlights here)
A few weeks a go I made a statement on facebook that offended many. In essence I said:
"I saw a girl loading 80+ boxed of fake oreos into her cart at the opening of trader joes. She said to me, 'Hey, no judging!' I laughed and said, 'No judgement here.' I lied, I was totally judging her."
I went on to clarify that the fake oreos were half the size of a regular box of oreos and were $3 a box! There was easily $240 worth of fake oreos!!!
The clarification didn't help my cause. I recieved half a dozen hate mail messages. I never meant to offend. I don't see myself as someone who is thin.
I would have posted the same comments at 362 pounds and people would have been ok with that because I was overweight and part of that population. I was laughing at myself too. I also ate poorly.
Now, some consider me a threat. I am the girl who eats healthy and works out all the time. The reminder that success is possible if you work hard enough.
I am that girl, the one who is a size 8, but wants to lose another 10 pounds. I hated her too, at one time.
I don't identify with thin people. I have been obese since I was in second grade. My inner voice in my head is still critical. I joke about my cankles and having junk in the trunk because that is where my insecurities lie. I don't joke about these things because I am "insensitive" or because I have "lost touch" with reality, but because I have ALWAYS masked my insecurities with humor. My dry, as is sense of humor was my greatest strength (when I felt I had nothing else to offer)
I am starting to be more confident, but I still check to make sure I won't break chairs, go into the biggest bathroom stalls so I know I will fit, and suck in when I try to fasten my seat belt on an airplane.
Please be patient with me, I forget, I'm not jewish anymore.
No comments:
Post a Comment