Weight Loss and Pregnancy.

I fear that in many ways this blog has fallen by the way side. I have simply run out of things to say. I want to say something interesting, but I am at the maintenance phase. I reached goal weight, and I've been here for awhile. I have envisioned writing posts about my life each day, and all they would be is "Still maintaining." A few months ago, Chad and I decided that we would try to get pregnant. Seriously, I got pregnant that week. This was astonishing to me. I had so many fertility issues with both Logan and Jonah. To get pregnant with Logan, I was taking 8 Clomid at once. It was insane. It took 3 years of trying, and 2 1/2 years of fertility treatments with Logan. With Jonah, I knew it was going to be an issue. So 4 months after Logan was born, we started fertility treatments. They are almost exactly 2 years apart. Chad and I were shocked at how quickly I was able to get pregnant. We were thrilled. We had names picked out and started stock-piling diapers. Then, I miscarried. It was horrible. I cried and cried. Chad was so sweet. We met with my doctor who kindly told me I was no longer pregnant. He gently added insult to injury "You're getting older. If you are planning on another, we should come up with a game plan." His plan was to start me on Clomid with my very next cycle. That was never necessary. I was pregnant 9 days later. I kept thinking to myself, "Eventually these hormones are going to balance out, and this nausea will go away."

I took a test and it was positive. Then, the REAL vomiting set in. At about 7 weeks, my vomiting led to Orthostatic Hypotension (dehydration that leads to low blood pressure and passing out) I passed out and tumbled down 10 stairs. The lies that I told myself before I went into this pregnancy became painfully obvious. (Both figuratively and literally) 1.IT WILL BE EASIER BECAUSE I AM IN BETTER SHAPE This may be the case later in the pregnancy. We will see. But as my doctor said "Hormones are hormones." Yeah, I guess being thinner won't help with that. Also, I may be thinner, but I'm almost 9 years older than the last time I did this (and last time I did this, I lost 85 pounds!) 2. I WILL WORKOUT MORE I am so dehydrated and ill, I can barely walk. On my good days, I go for a 30 minute walk. On my bad days, I focus on Nots. Not killing my kids or my husband. This is a far departure from the 70-80 squats and high intensity workouts I was doing less than 8 weeks ago. 3. I WILL EAT ONLY A PERFECTLY HEALTHY/BALANCED DIET Sometimes, when you vomit so much, basically everything you eat, when you can keep down a lemon scone, you eat lemon scones (often). Then you go to pinterest and try to find the recipe for the fatty lemony deliciousness in scone form because calories are better than nothing. (right?) You try to justify eating whatever you can keep down despite your nutrition minor education that tells you that you should never ever ever eat scones as a primary source of calories. Often times, being over weight is blamed for every single medical condition known to man. This month I have realized, losing weight did help my infertility issues. But, I am at an ideal body weight, I live a healthy lifestyle and I suffer from extreme hyperemesis. My doctor has put me on home care and I will be giving myself Iv's at home and attempting to finish school. If I lose any more weight, I will have to get a feeding tube inserted. This is my reality. This has been my reality. Being thin didn't fix it. It's something I can manage and maintain, but there's no magic cure (that will come before October when our sweet baby is born) But, I'm thankful to have this as a problem and have a baby coming to our family.