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Friday, May 10, 2013

The "F" word

I am consistent. If I could count the 10 pounds I gain then lose again, I would be up to over 300 pounds lost, seriously.

I go between 165-175. Once, I got down to 162 for 17 minutes. It was a good day, but it didn't last. (Well, it didn't last longer than 17 minutes)

Last semester, in nutrition we learned about "The set point theory."  This is the theory that your body has a certain preset weight of where it wants to be.  There may be something to this, but I keep losing, and my body keeps adjusting.   

That's one explanation, the other is my lymph edema. I got this as a result of my skin removal surgery. My legs swell up with fluid. On bad days, it hurts to walk. I push through and as long as I take my medicine and continue to work out, I continue to lose back down to 165, in which it all starts over again. 

There's a third option.  A filthy horrible option that I keep in the back of my mind. I can't even say it.  It's a word that starts with F. Ok fine, F-A-T. 

I worry that I am getting fat. (Pardon my language) I worry that this time, I won't be able to lose the weight and will continue to balloon. 

Normally I am able to push aside the last fear as irrational and unscientific. This week, I ballooned to 175 yet again.  I hit the gym, I watched what I ate, and I gained. (177) I hit the gym even harder, still watched my weight, and I woke up the next day at 180.2. I will admit, I had a complete nervous breakdown. It was 3:30 in the morning, I was getting ready for work and I seriously woke Chad up to tell him about my current weight. 

He grunted and said "Hmm, that's about half of what I weigh, good job baby." And rolled over.  Men.

I hit the gym again. I lost 6.2 pounds the next day.  But it let in the fear and worry. 

Our family is doing a family biggest loser with Chads mom and siblings. I am dedicated to winning. I have the least to lost, but I am so dedicated!!! 

I am hoping to force my "set point" lower than where it is now.

2 comments:

  1. Ok seriously. I wish I had the drive you do. I lost at most a total of 210 lbs. I got pregnant, had a hard pregnancy, and have been really lazy about starting to work out again. I gained 70 lbs. within 4 weeks of delivery, I had lost 40 lbs- baby and water, etc... but I just don't have the ambition to lose that last 30. I need to have someone kick my butt- I have clothes in my closet dying to be worn! Your success is amazing Lauralee!!!

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  2. I completely believe the set point theory. I have heard that many times myself in my journey of weight loss. I seem to stall at weights that I have been before. Before getting pregnant i was stalled and now after having a baby I'm stuck again. I gained 35lbs during my pregnancy and lost the first 12 lbs very easily. The next 5 took work, and now I'm stuck. I've been this weight and size before and my body is comfortable, but I'm NOT! I'm kicking things up a notch to get the rest of the weight off. I also fluctuate quite a bit so I try not to weight every day. Now I weight once or twice a week so I don't see every slight gain. Don't get down, you are amazing!

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