Surgery and fundraising

Great news this week.  I found out that the insurance company is going to pay for a tummy tuck and back lift. 
When I met with a plastic surgeon months ago, he told me the insurance would NEVER cover it.  He encouraged me to finance the entire $20,000-$30,000.

Sadly, if we were in a position to financially, the procedures would be done already.

Dr.  Malan said he would bill the insurance and see what happens. 

I got notice today that a stomach and back lift have been approved by insurance. 

This is exciting but the hospital portion of my medical bills have to be paid in advance.  $4,000.

I feel a sense of urgency because my approval only lasts until November.  My surgical date is August 16.  So the question is "Is it possible to raise $4,000 before August 16?  I pray that it is.

We are starting with a yard sale this weekend...(we will also hold one July 4)  anyone wanting to donate items can drop them at 1957 w 300 n west point 84015

I have had mixed reviews.. of support and lack of support for this surgery.  I had someone tell me to work on the inside because the outside doesnt matter.

I disagree.  How I feel about myself does matter and having mounds of extra skin affects your self image, unless you are a Sharpei. 

The rolls of excess flesh are daily reminders of the lonely, sad, abuse filled life I once lived and constant reminders of the anguish and self loathing I once felt.  Does it make me shallow to want to leave this behind?  Maybe.  But I am a size 8.  I have to shove 30-40 pounds of flesh into my clothing or wear clothes that are too big.  My doctor warns the excess flesh around my vital organs is just as dangerous as fat.   Its a self esteem thing, a health thing, but its also a step to leave the self-hating obese Lauralee behind. 

Sorry for the graphic images.  They are for those who say "It can't be that bad, I have had babies.  I have wrinkles"  

No.  You have never lost 185 pounds.  You had 10 pound babies.  It isnt the same.   I look good in my clothes,  I know that.  I am little, surrounded by fleshy-ness

The second picture shows lifted how much better it will be.  Extra skin is removed from below the bust and pelvic line front and back.

I will be honest.  This was the most difficult of all my posts.  Its the most vulnerable.  Its real.  Its what really happens following weight loss surgery.  Thats what this blog is about. 

A day in the life of me: a food journal

I often get asked what I eat.  This is everything that entered my mouth today.

Looking Forward to Saturday

Saturday is my big ride. I am so very excited for it! I have only made it to 50 miles in training so everyone pray for me. I am determined to finish. Thank you to everyone who donated! I so appreciate it! I met the $150 required to be able to race, which feels like a huge achievement in itself. I have had a very frustrating 2 1/2 months. I have lost the same 3 pounds at least a dozen times. Chad says it's just normal fluctuation, I say it's annoying. My lowest is 178.4. I was only there for a day. I then work out hard to try and get lower and in turn gain. I usually gain big amounts. (Like 3 pounds all at once) and then gradually over the week, drop back down to 179. This week instead of 3 pounds, I gained 5. It totally freaked me out. I am back down to 181...but still struggling to get back to that 179. It's so frustrating, because I can feel my goal within my grasp. I do realize the plastic surgeon says that 40 pounds of me is just skin, which would put me well under my goal weight, but I am just not happy with that. I want to hit that healthy range and I am so close that I can taste it. I am gym shopping again. I loved and hated the Clearfield aquatic center, but in the end, competing with Junior high kids each time I go to the gym is just too annoying. Also, I can't use the indoor track during school hours which is lame since I have to deal with the stupid kids. So in all, I'm thinking I will probably do Gold's Gym since my uncle is a manager there. That will mean a rather long bike ride from the bus station to the gym and back again, but right now, that's better than junior high girls.