First

I have been fat for a very long time.  I have had cankles (where your calf just becomes your ankles) for a long time.  The last time I wore shorts in public....I was 12.  Well, until yesterday. 

I felt ridiculous with shorts and the nicer shirt and so changed into the t shirt.

Goal dress

When i bought my wedding dress,  there was a pretty little blue dress for $10.  It was much much too small but i bought it as a goal dress.  i was able to zip it today...but there was this weird but puff thing going on.  It may need to be altered.

The changes we make and why

Jonah reminds me of me.  He is fun and sassy and just awesome.  Last week he came home from school with a health assessment from headstart.  He has gained 11 pounds since he has started school.  His bmi is 32.  Higher than mine.  I will be honest, I cried.  No one knows the pain of an obese childhood better than me.   I don't want him to get teased, I don't want him to feel bad about himself.  I weighed him to see how much and to see if the school was right.  68 pounds, to which he shouted "yay, I am growing up.".
I dont want him to feel ashamed but a change needs to be made. 

We have decided that this is a change that is going to be made as a family.

I already eat very, very healthy.  I have strong will power and just don't eat the junk. 

I have allowed my kids to eat some junk because I figured they are kids...

This week, I went through the cupboards and got rid of all processed foods.  EVERYTHING.

I bought balls and we are going to play outside together for an hour a night.

Video games are restricted to an hour a week on saturdays. 

I have startes packing home lunches with healthy and nutritious food.

Here's to hoping these changes will be enough to make an impact.

Plastic surgery

I met with a plastic surgeon yesterday.  My belly button hasnt healed right from my gallbladder removal.  While there, I figured I would find out about skin removal.  I have been really hard on myself because of my extra "flab."   I told the surgeon that I hadnt lost in months and so I was probably ready to get the skin removed.  He looked me up and down and said "You arent losing because you dont have anything to lose.  You have 40 pounds of skin there." 

He told me to fix everything, my stomach, arms and thighs, it would cost $20,000.  None of that is covered by insurance. 

So, the answer is simple.  Therapy to work towards accepting me for me.  At least the therapy is covered by insurance!

Before and Afters

I have been really hard on myself lately. I still feel like I haven't met my goal. I am at the size I wanted to be at, but still higher weight wise than I want to be. But I got the disk in the mail Saturday of my before and after. I've got to admit, I'm feeling pretty good about myself after seeing them!

I never saw myself as that big, my body image was way off. Now I see myself much bigger than I am. I hope someday my body image will be "as is."

Here are my before and afters!

Happiness, satisfaction, and followups

I went to my doctor for my one year follow up.  Yeah, I get it, I am a couple months late.  When I met with Dr.  Smith, I was nervous.  I had heard stories of him having high goals for his patients.  He told me I look good.  I smiled but dismissed it quickly and said, "I know I have another 20 to go!"  He looked me up and down and said "Lauralee, no one is going to look at you and say 'she is a big girl.'"

I told him that I think I am big.  He said "That is a mental thing.  I'm not that kind of doctor."

Thats what I love about Dr. Smith.  He is so straight with me.

I also had a couple of people at work tell me that it was time for me to stop losing weight.  Haha.  I still would like to get to goal weight.

At my 1 year follow up,  they took more pictures.  They are going to send me a disk with before and after pictures.  I will post that as soon as I get them.

I finally had sprouting success with alfalfa sprouts. My new favorite thing is a triscuit spread with skinny cow cheese topped with sprouts.
  Yumm-o. 
I also have discovered raisels.  They are white raisins covered in sour orange flavor.  They are pretty low calorie and are similar to sour patch kids.

Its my bike race tomorrow and Chad has visitation for his first weekend since November.  It is going to be busy...but a happy busy!

Sprouts

I have spent the last two weeks trying to sprout regular pinto and red beans. Fail right there. There are a few things I have learned this week. Alfalfa is a whole lot easier to sprout than beans. After two days of doing alfalfa sprouts, they are almost ready. After this I'm going to try sprouting sunflower seeds and lentils. I will let you know how it goes.