A Big, Fat, Thank You!

I really want to thank everyone that came out and supported us with our yard sale on Saturday. I am so very thankful for all of our friends and family. We were only able to sell for about 3 hours, because we got a horrible call that Chad's sweet son Zachary had broken his leg. It was a sale that was never meant to be, just as we got that call, the front sprinklers went off and drenched all of the clothes, so I had to take them in and wash them all. We were really lucky to have a very successful sale in spite of all of that. We were only selling for 3 hours and made $60. We are very grateful for that. In preparing for the sale, Logan decided that he wanted to sell all of his toys to help. I agreed to allow him to help, but instead had him sell goodies. It was so touching though to see what a giving and generous little man I have raised. Our next sale will be Wednesday, July 4 from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. We will accept donations any time prior to that or all day long. Any and all items are appreciated. Our address is 1957 W 300 N, West Point 84015 We can pick up items as well. Give me a call 801 425 8880.

Surgery and fundraising

Great news this week.  I found out that the insurance company is going to pay for a tummy tuck and back lift. 
When I met with a plastic surgeon months ago, he told me the insurance would NEVER cover it.  He encouraged me to finance the entire $20,000-$30,000.

Sadly, if we were in a position to financially, the procedures would be done already.

Dr.  Malan said he would bill the insurance and see what happens. 

I got notice today that a stomach and back lift have been approved by insurance. 

This is exciting but the hospital portion of my medical bills have to be paid in advance.  $4,000.

I feel a sense of urgency because my approval only lasts until November.  My surgical date is August 16.  So the question is "Is it possible to raise $4,000 before August 16?  I pray that it is.

We are starting with a yard sale this weekend...(we will also hold one July 4)  anyone wanting to donate items can drop them at 1957 w 300 n west point 84015

I have had mixed reviews.. of support and lack of support for this surgery.  I had someone tell me to work on the inside because the outside doesnt matter.

I disagree.  How I feel about myself does matter and having mounds of extra skin affects your self image, unless you are a Sharpei. 

The rolls of excess flesh are daily reminders of the lonely, sad, abuse filled life I once lived and constant reminders of the anguish and self loathing I once felt.  Does it make me shallow to want to leave this behind?  Maybe.  But I am a size 8.  I have to shove 30-40 pounds of flesh into my clothing or wear clothes that are too big.  My doctor warns the excess flesh around my vital organs is just as dangerous as fat.   Its a self esteem thing, a health thing, but its also a step to leave the self-hating obese Lauralee behind. 

Sorry for the graphic images.  They are for those who say "It can't be that bad, I have had babies.  I have wrinkles"  

No.  You have never lost 185 pounds.  You had 10 pound babies.  It isnt the same.   I look good in my clothes,  I know that.  I am little, surrounded by fleshy-ness

The second picture shows lifted how much better it will be.  Extra skin is removed from below the bust and pelvic line front and back.

I will be honest.  This was the most difficult of all my posts.  Its the most vulnerable.  Its real.  Its what really happens following weight loss surgery.  Thats what this blog is about. 

A day in the life of me: a food journal

I often get asked what I eat.  This is everything that entered my mouth today.

Looking Forward to Saturday

Saturday is my big ride. I am so very excited for it! I have only made it to 50 miles in training so everyone pray for me. I am determined to finish. Thank you to everyone who donated! I so appreciate it! I met the $150 required to be able to race, which feels like a huge achievement in itself. I have had a very frustrating 2 1/2 months. I have lost the same 3 pounds at least a dozen times. Chad says it's just normal fluctuation, I say it's annoying. My lowest is 178.4. I was only there for a day. I then work out hard to try and get lower and in turn gain. I usually gain big amounts. (Like 3 pounds all at once) and then gradually over the week, drop back down to 179. This week instead of 3 pounds, I gained 5. It totally freaked me out. I am back down to 181...but still struggling to get back to that 179. It's so frustrating, because I can feel my goal within my grasp. I do realize the plastic surgeon says that 40 pounds of me is just skin, which would put me well under my goal weight, but I am just not happy with that. I want to hit that healthy range and I am so close that I can taste it. I am gym shopping again. I loved and hated the Clearfield aquatic center, but in the end, competing with Junior high kids each time I go to the gym is just too annoying. Also, I can't use the indoor track during school hours which is lame since I have to deal with the stupid kids. So in all, I'm thinking I will probably do Gold's Gym since my uncle is a manager there. That will mean a rather long bike ride from the bus station to the gym and back again, but right now, that's better than junior high girls.

Training

I have less than 30 days until my big ride. It's big. I mean BIG. I have competed in one other event, but that was seriously only 23 miles on bike. This one that I am training for is 60 and there are HILLS. I haven't ridden incredibly far today, but I've practiced my hills. I did 14 miles today of basically all hills. I feel fantastic though and I only have $80 left to raise, I am really hoping to get the fundraising out of the way, so that I don't have to worry about paying all of that myself! These races I've been doing and are planning to do, really get quite expensive!

Tour de Cure!

I officially registered today for the Tour de Cure. I am doing the 60 mile bike ride. I am begging for money right now. I have just under a month to raise $150 to be able to participate. I am hoping to get enough donations. My husband will kill me if I have to pay the $150 on my own! It was questionable paying the $35 fee to register!!!! I hear the questions you are asking in your head. (or possibly out loud.) Q 1. Why on earth do I want to do this? There are many reasons, but biking makes me happy. Not just happy, but it is what causes the sunshine in my soul. As a fat kid, I watched my dad do many of these rides. My dad is amazing. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. He can still kick my trash, and he's over 60. He has legs of steel. Seriously. I watched my dad compete in these events, and wished that I was one of "those people." This is something I have been day dreaming about forever. It's something I have been seriously thinking about for about a year and a half. Q 2. Why diabetes? Well, I had diabetes before losing 185 pounds. It sucked. Now, my 5 year old is borderline diabetic and I'm sorry, but that is just not ok with me. We have to do something to find a cure, or at least more treatments for this horrible disease. Q 3. 60 miles? Are you crazy. Eh, probably. Q 4. Um, what about your gluteus maximus? Are you worried you will never walk again? Yes, this is a concern. I have taken 4 days off following the race for recovery time. Please donate. I would for you....the next time you are selling girl scout cookies or happenings books. Hit me up. I'm totally good for the favor. :)

Go here to donate. (or email me monkeylauralee@hotmail.com) (this should work now. Sorry to those who wanted to donate but couldn't. You can now, please please do.)

The moral

I ride the bus and train from work every day.  There is an older woman i see on occassion there.  She spoke to me the other day and said she noticed I had lost weight.  She asked me what I was doing.

This is always where I make the decision if I am going to explain that I have had RNY gastric bypass.  In the beginning I told every one.  I have always been a very open person.  Also I was inspired to look into gastric bypass after seeing my friend nicole.  Her before and after still inspires me.   I have grown weary of "the look.".  People look at me with disappointment and have even said I took the "easy way out."

I will be honest,  i am a little more guarded with who I tell.  I have lost 185 pounds via gastric bypass and a lot of hard work.  I don't think that i need to justify or defend myself!  No matter how it was done, 185 pounds is pretty good!

I am thankful I told this lady on the train.  We talked a minute about the changes in my life.  Then she asked me a personal question.

"What's the moral of the story?"

"What?" I asked, not really certain of her meaning.

She was an older lady, and she adjusted her glasses before speaking again.

"What is the biggest lesson you have learned in losing weight?"

The answer was simple, but worth sharing:  "Nothing you put into your body is worth the overall health of your body.  Food is fuel.  It can be enjoyed but needs to be nutrious or there is no sense in putting it in your mouth."

She thought for a second and seemed surprised. I think she expected something much more grand. She said "So that's it? The biggest lesson you've learned?" I laughed and said, "Everyone knows that, but it's a hard lesson to really learn. Cake is delicious, so is chocolate. Learning to love myself and my body more than chocolate is a big accomplishment. You're talking to a fat chick here!" She smiled, and said, "No, actually I'm not." We chatted and she got off the train shortly after that. She thanked me for giving her inspiration. I should have thanked her for making me verbalize that lesson. It's just what I needed that day.